Friday, October 7, 2011

Show and Tell

What I would show you if I had used my camera this past week would be me and Mark glazing.
Me and Mark loading the small kin.
Me drowning under paper work deadlines for my Sister's Estate and my MIL's bank statements for the past 3 years.
Throw me a lifeline please!

What I might also show you is the clutter inside my brain as I reprocess this past year.
Last October we opened the show Clay and Blogs: Telling a Story down in Southern Pines.
It was so much fun and the pots and potters were great.
Yet, it seems years ago to me now.
A lot has happened in folks lives since that opening.
Many of the potters still blog as you can see in my side bar.
And, many of them have become silent.
Many have moved over to different forms of internet communications .
While some of us continue to believe in the daily or in my case, weekly journal of our lives as potters.
I have much to mull over about the past year. The good, the great, the terrible and the acceptance.
There are days that my mind tricks me in to thinking I am still 40 something... that I can call my brother and my sister on the phone.
There are days I know they are gone and days I just think it is all made up.
Two sibs in one year, 5 months apart.
On the 9th will be a year since Jay died.
Yesterday was 7 months to the day since Lee went to join him.
My MIL is in the hospital with 2 broken hips.
There are days that getting anything done in the pot shop is near to impossible and I find myself thinking about the days past of  the many pots that flew off the wheels here.
Now my wheel just sits idle for many days- weeks at a time.
I feel like a soap opera:
Will she ever return to the wheel?
Will Whynot Pottery hold up to the recession?
Where will I be a year from now?
I wonder what the next year will bring for us.
I had a friend once tell me that when you are down get down and wallow in it like a pig.
Then get up and get on. I still think this is good advice and there are days I wallow and cover myself with my thoughts.
And then- I get up and get on.
So, today, we fire the small kiln and I continue to use up many trees worth of paper.
 Cheers for your fall weekends.
we are still here- come see us.
pretty maids all in a row


gz said...

In a way it is nice to know that other potters are feeling snowed under by Life too.

At least you have the smaller kiln, so that it is not so much of a task to keep that ticking over.

Anna said...

I was talking about how potter's live their lives to someone recently.

An average worker gets up in the morning and drives to work for 8 or 9 hours....drives home eats goes to bed. Any appointments must be planned in advance. Time off is restricted no matter whether you are sick or need to just chill.

We potters (and other artists for that matter) live life and work all at the same time. Sitting at the wheel the washer is churning. I cover my pots and run to a doctors appointment. I glaze and then get groceries and stop at a sick friends house. Check the pots then balance the check book while the pasta boils.....WE do everything all the time. No breaks. Our work and our life are one.

It can be exhausting and overwhelming sometimes. I am with you.

John Bauman said...

The pots are gorgeous! I love the glaze on top.

Tracey Broome said...

Girrrllll, I could have written a similar blog post. In 1993, I had a baby, buried my dad, my grandmother and an uncle! Sometimes life is just toooo much. This has certainly been your year of too much, that's for sure! Anna is right, we make pottery, put on a pot of soup, load up the washing machine, run to the grocery store, eat dinner, go out and check the kiln, roll out some slabs, it all melts together, work and life all at the same time. And then people want a $5 mug!
If you stop blogging, I am going to be a sad girl. It's a shame that so many have stopped. I tried to read some of their new facebook pages, but they are quite bland compared to the blogs they used to write. Such a shame. Blog on Sistah! I'm reading!!!! HAve a happy week!

Michèle Hastings said...

grief is all consuming at times... and then there is the paperwork that unfortunately goes with it. the best thing i did for myself after John's death was to join a grief session for young widows & widowers through hospice. i am not a group joining person but i really needed this. hospice has sessions dealing with all types of loss and typically they are open to anyone to join in.
hang in there, do what you can each day and try not to worry about what doesn't get done. eventually things will fall into place again... although it might be a little different place.

Linda Starr said...

Those are some real pretty maids in a row and that's a great photo. In order to heal you need rest so take it easy and go with the flow, yeah wallow a while, best to grieve than hold it all in, the energy will come back slowly a bit at a time. I had my traumas before I left California and here. Lately I've had a burst of energy so taking advantage of that. Many folks are energized and inspired by reading the pottery reality blogs, me being one of them.

You wouldn't believe the good conversations we're having with folks at our garage sale, we may have one once a month just to keep up on local news.

cindy shake said...

Carry on, forge ahead, live long and prosper! When people who have lived to be 100 years old are interviewed one of the common threads they claim to their longevity is that they were able to navigate life's adversities and usually enjoyed a daily apple or shot of whisky!

I've also noticed that there are not as many comments on my Blog and some of my favorite blogs have ceased with posts :( I was thinking it was because of everyone's busy summer(?)

Judy Shreve said...

I think about you and wonder how you are doing with your grief. Sometimes I'm astounded at how someone can just not be here anymore - how can a life just vanish? I know I can truly say 'I've been there."
Because to me, grief seems like it is a specific location, a coordinate on a map of time. When you are there you can't imagine finding your way to a better place. But I can assure you that I have been in that same place, and now I have moved from it - sometimes hearing that can bring you hope - it did for me when I was there.

Because I feel that grief is a place, that means it is a place you can leave. You can stay there for as long as you need and then you can take all of your wonderful memories and move on -- knowing that others will be in that place and that you can then say 'you've been there,' and help them to move on . . . .

Sending you hugs!

Patricia Lawler said...

I hear ya, Meredith. Honestly the paperwork is almost enough to push me right over the edge (still dealing with my mom's estate for over two years!). But I have found out ... deadlines come and deadlines go and I'm still here. I had to just let time take its time. Well, within reason, of course :/

jimgottuso said...

hi meredith, lots to think about there and grapple with. as bad as some years have been, i have been lucky as far as the grief being spread out over more time. the recession... scary, but what choices are there? i just keep making pots and hoping to endure. politicians are proving they don't have our best interests in mind. i've been blogging less myself, it's a lot of work to post daily or even every other day and still get stuff done. let that little grandchild warm you up, i'm finding that they don't stay little long enough to suit me.